The Danger Of Unrealistically High Expectations

We spend a lot of our time waiting for things from others. We expect our needs to be met and that those we care about treat us the same way: mutually. However, the world sometimes works the other way around, leaving our high expectations shattered.

However, do not let this get in the way. We all need certain things from our fellow human beings to achieve a sense of security. In the same way that a child knows he or she is loved by their parents, we adults expect our partners to always treat us the same way we treat them.

While the fact is that a healthy, balanced relationship should work this way, this often results in confusion: Expecting too much when in reality we are not getting anything back. 

Let’s reflect on this a bit.

When your high expectations are being let down

Some people are of the opinion that happiness is given and not received. Perhaps it is the way we are brought up or the fact that this extremely noble worthy neglects an essential aspect of our survival: self-esteem.

You are also entitled to receive

We need to let go of all these concepts that go against our emotional balance. Spreading joy is a noble deed that enriches us; you can even think of it as a commitment. Giving is good, but receiving is an obligation.

We are not talking about material goods or services for that matter. When we do something for others, it is not obligatory to match this spontaneous gift that comes from the heart with an even greater gift.

• Something we are all entitled to and even obliged to do is receive respect. If you give love, you should not get indifference or selfishness returned.
• In romantic relationships, “giving and receiving” is  both a right and an obligation. It is a type of energy that is created between two people, which fosters each other for development and is filled with respect and reciprocity.

We expect too much because we want to be able to give much more

Maybe someone has said something similar to you ” you expect too much from other people”  or  “you are too sensitive and everything makes you sad”…

• The words above reflect a lack of empathy for a heart that gives a lot to others but gets no recognition.
• Maybe you should say things to yourself such as “I need to learn to love less,” but in reality, what you should say to yourself is  “I need to learn to love myself more.”

To love someone means to make room in your heart for the other person by making the person the focal point of your life and building your world around him or her.

However, we need to avoid these extremes, in which we neglect our own needs. You may have high expectations of another person,  but do not forget to expect the same things from yourself: 

• Do not forget to take care of yourself every single day. Do not prioritize others to a degree where you neglect your own needs.
• Offer your affection, concern and care… but expect these things in return.

How to react when you discover that you have never received anything in return

• Your heart will let you know when you have reached your limit. If you wake up with more dark clouds than hope, if you spend all your time being frustrated and wanting to cry, then this is the time to react.
• When you do not get anything in return, you feel empty and maybe even as if you are not worthy of receiving affection, care and attention. Never let the emotional emptiness of others make you believe that you do not deserve to be loved. 
• The love that never leaves you is the love that you yourself give. It will give you strength to follow your own path towards personal balance and inner peace.

One idea that psychologists like to promote is,  it is best not to expect anything from others and instead have high expectations of yourself. However, this idea can mean several different things.

• We can expect certain things from people who are part of our inner circle. For example, we need to have the security of knowing that we are loved because, no one can live without this security.

What we above all deserve is respect from ourselves and from others. Do not stop fighting for it. Love is reciprocity, support and sincerity. 

If you do not find these qualities in your relationship, it is a sign that it is not sincere or healthy.